I love this picture. These are 2 pups, Henry (RIP) and Tucker that I use to share space with prior to my “divine storm of 2011”. Read about it in my story.
Henry was chasing snow balls while Tucker watched. I was still very challenged after my disabling relapse of MS in 2011. This was a very cold day, approximately 2015, but the snow kept me walking with the cold temperatures and the air that felt so invigorating! I felt amazing being cold. You see, Multiple Sclerosis has many effects with various symptoms on people. Some are similar some are not. My worst symptom is heat intolerance which effects how my my nerves talk to my brain with various temperatures. The hotter it gets, the less my body communicates with my body. So for me and many others with MS, the hotter we get the less our nerves can talk to our brains. SO for me COLD is heaven and HEAT is HELL. At this time in 2015 my base line for when I felt OK was 60 degrees or less. One of the lowest base lines he has seen, according to my MS Specialist and Neuro. YAY! What a great prize I got with this all….being the lowest.
At this point I was just so grateful to be out and hanging with my buds. It took me a lot of time to get to this point of being here by myself only with Henry and Tucker but “OH MY GOD, HOW SWEET it felt!” NO ONE HANGING OVER ME! INDEPENDENCE!
If you are reading this and have MS, you may have had that feeling once too. When you have a life alternating health crises, and people now treat you differently it is horribly depressing and changes EVERYTHING in your life. They are worried and try to help, but all you want to do is go BACK to your other previous YOU. Anger comes and then humility. Gratitude and then ANGER again. YES MS causes mood changes and WHY WOULDN’T it? Your life has changed now forever (as the doctors tell you)!!! Autoimmune is suppose to be a forever deal that will include medicines for the rest of you life. My favorite is when doctors ask if you are isolating? Me from Jersey and loving my F word, just want to yell “F***!!! WOULDN’T YOU”?
As I write this now in 2018, I am proud to say F*** THAT! I am now 1000 x different then when this picture was taken! BETTER different!!!
Sorry part of MS is going off on another path and then realizing and then trying to get back to where I was (physically, emotionally and mentally) ;-)….
OK yes, here with Henry and Tucker, I was enjoying just being me. I could fall in the snow (without people being horrified at my lack of coordination and weakness brought on with MS), I could laugh, I could cry, they were just so happy to play & be with me once again! It was one of my very favorite days in period of my life. This picture captures it too!
I am and was forever grateful to Henry and Tuckers parents to have the faith and the love to let me take them out alone. That gift of confidence they gave me was the best gift ever at that time! Thank you!
You see after a disabling relapse when your body is not working the same, you lose confidence in yourself, and your body. This one day, was just the start of the amazing day’s that would eventually come.
HOPE, NEVER GIVE UP!